Wishful Thinking

Do you ever wish you were someone else? Everyone says it’s pointless and to just be yourself. That is true and I whole-heartedly believe that. But of course, we all have those moments right? We either wish we had someone else’s body (I think that’s usually the main case for girls), someone else’s brains, or in general someone else’s life.

I have a friend who, I think, overall is a person you would want to be. She’s smart, she knows how to get around the guys, she has great style, and she’s very nice. She does have flaws of course, and those are flaws that I avoid having myself.

I don’t want to be exactly her. I would like to have her brains and style though. I was a little bummed today and had that split second thought of “I wish I was her.” I think it was because I saw she’s friends (or very close acquaintance) with my crush’s brother (not sure why I cared about that…) and my other mini eye candy. Not gonna lie, got a little jealous.

I don’t hate her of course. I just wish I know what it is about her. Ever had one of those moments too? At times like these I lose confidence in myself (which is bad for me particularly, if you remember) and start to get a little self conscious.

At least she’s not friends with my crush. As bad as that sounds haha.

Oh, and that reminds me. I found out one of my close friend’s cousins, a junior, is interested in me. I’ve never seen him before and I’m still a little unsure of what he looks like. My friend and other close buddy today were calling me over and I got a little antsy. I felt a little awkward just suddenly talking to this dude I don’t know at all.

Then I thought, is this kind of how my crush feels? I feel like it would be a bit different though since both of us kind of know each other in a sense. Like, we’re familiar with each other. But who knows. Maybe that’s why my crush seems like he’s avoiding me, haha.

Well, gotta step my game up. Again.

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