Permanence

I’m typing this on my iPhone in bed right now. It’s a little past midnight and I’m not tired. I would type on my laptop, but my roommate is asleep and I don’t want to disturb her (light sleeper she is and honestly it gets me annoyed when she wakes up because she purposely tosses and turns to “subtly” let me know I just woke her up… I have a short temper).

So being bored as I am, other than listening to music as I do pretty much 24/7, I began to think random shit. I somehow reminded myself of a Buddhist concept my dad had told/taught me. It was that nothing is permanent. I thought it was interesting, but then a thought popped into my head, being the sharp 15 year old I was a few years ago haha.

We say things like “this is my house, my dog, my car” etc. but they really aren’t. We’re simply in possession of them for a long or short period of time, because they’re not permanent. Eventually, the car is going to be destroyed, house will be brought down, and our pets will pass away. You might think that they ARE our things, but… Actually I suppose it depends on what you think the definition of permanence is.

When I think of permanence, I think of something that lasts forever. Something that’ll never disappear and will always remain as ours. Like permanent markers. They’re called permanent because when you get it on your clothing, the mark isn’t going to go away (just an example. I have no clue on whether or not there is some sort of remover or whatever).

Like that, it struck me on how because nothing is really permanent, nothing really belongs to us. I don’t know if I’m making this clear or not. I’m having one of those “I can explain it in my mind but can’t put it in words” moments.

Let’s see… Okay got it. If I caught a cold, then.. I caught a cold. I might tell a friend “I have a cold.” then there’s the other scenario where I have epilepsy. A cold is temporary, whereas epilepsy will (most likely) stay with me for the rest of my life. Epilepsy is now part of me, permanent. So I have it. I have epilepsy. A cold is temporary, so I caught a cold, I don’t actually have it (caught and then ill set it free like a butterfly. Ha ha ha. I’m so funny) (I’m over tired). I hope that’s a little clearer… Probably not.

I think the only thing that really truly is ours is our body and mind. They’re not going to disappear suddenly. If they do, we’ll be going with them (dying of course). True, our bodies aren’t exactly permanent, but I think they are in a sense because the body and mind are us. We’re not (permanent? Maybe?)immortal either, but through our eyes, the body and mind IS permanent because if you think about it… We’re born and going to die with our bodies/minds, so we’ll never see them deteriorate. In our sense of time, our bodies and minds are permanent.

I feel like I rambled on a bit. I have no idea if I just made sense even to myself. Oh my god it’s hot in my room. I can’t deal with heat. The heat is making me a bit delusional and frustrated.

So anyway, despite what I wrote, there is also no other way to claim our ‘possessions’ except using the words ‘my’ ‘mine’ ‘ours’ and so on. I guess there’s no way getting around it. At least, for me. I mean, it’d sound pretty awkward to say “this is my temporary dog, say hi.” There probably are arguments that could easily take mine over though (my argument. Permanent? Think about it).

This is my temporary dog. Kidding. Love that brat.

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