Idea about Death

I’ve realized lately that I still haven’t come to terms with the idea of death. It doesn’t scare me per say, but it definitely makes me sad. And don’t get me wrong, I don’t have an issue of dying myself. It’s more like… I’m sad about losing the people I love in the future.

I know everyone doesn’t want to lose loved ones, obviously, but I personally can’t help but think about it a lot. I look at my dad, for example, and I think about him one day not being there and it saddens me greatly. Right now what gets to me the most is my dog. He’s a brat and spoiled so much, but I love him to death (ha) and the thought that in at least six years time he’ll be gone just devastates me.

I guess another way of putting it is that I, unfortunately, think more about the future rather than enjoying the present. And in a way, I’m scared that I’m wasting my time worrying about the future instead of enjoying what I have now. And time flies, you know?

And I don’t like that aspect of myself. In Buddhism, another crucial topic you learn is the idea of permanence. Nothing is permanent in life. One day, the car you call yours will one day be in a junk yard. Your house might be destroyed. Loved ones will pass away. You will pass away. Eventually, even plastic has an expiration date. Nothing lives on forever.

I recall when I was 10, I made that revelation on my own in the car and I told my dad my thoughts. He was so proud of me that I realized an important Buddhist topic without actually having learned it in the first place.

And now, I ironically have an issue with it. It bothers me in the way that I can’t seem to appreciate and enjoy what I have now. That instead of having a lot of fun, I think about depressing things of the future. Maybe if I had continued to be a Tibetan Buddhist, I would have learned how to let go of things.

It may sound like I constantly think about this, but I don’t. I just probably dwell on it more than the average person. When I was much younger, I used to cry about that stuff. But now they’re just thoughts that scratch the surface of my mind.

But, as the phrase goes, life will go on.

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6 thoughts on “Idea about Death

  1. I’ve come to grips with death very well. Accepting and being comfortable with death sounds really cold, but to me, it has been very comforting. During the recent decline and passing of a loved one I got to be the rock for others, and that also came with its own rewards. Even though I’ve been around my fair share of death, it wasn’t until recently that I could really handle it well. Give it time and thought.

    • Oh, I’m so sorry to hear about your loss :( but it is good that you have come to terms with it. I suppose I’m still young and have more time to accept it. I’m trying to be comfortable with it, but looks like it’ll take some time. Thank you for sharing :)

  2. I think as people we really have a poor idea what death actually is. One way to look at is that we are dying all the time. Science tells us that very seven years our bodies are completely renewed, that is that there is no cell in our bodies that existed 7 years ago. Every day little bits die and new ones are born. Naturally this process slows to the point where there is more death than renewal. Birth and death are interdependent, or you could say the biggest cause of death is life. The wonderful thing from the Buddhist perspective is that what we call mind has no cause or birth, and that which makes us unique and wonderful, the sum of all our impressions and deeds is eternal. So take this, that what is truly you lives on, and the body is only a possession like the car or house, simply ends. I think this is so beautiful. And if you would have as you said kept on the path, you would be more comfortable with this. But hey no worries.

    • I’ve always believed that most people just never get around to truly accepting the unknown :) we don’t know what lies beyond that, and that scares us. We ignore the fact that we’re dying each second and try to distract ourselves with our lives. I remember having an intense discussion about interdependence with my dad, and it was profound but didn’t quite help me. I guess as a 21 year old, I just need some more time to really accept it. Part of it may be that at this point in my life, I still don’t have everything figured out so the idea of death on top of not knowing what I want to do in my life merely is emphasized :) Thank you for your very insightful comment (are you Tibetan?)!

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