Happened today actually, and is about Brendan and Mark again. So we have an assignment based on our show due Monday, and we have to collaborate together. It’s kind of complicated so I won’t get into the details of the assignment.
First, back tracking a bit… I realized that Mark and Brendan are actually slackers. Great. But at least they’ll do the job, even it’s kinda half-assed sometimes. And also, just earlier this week, I told them that if they try their hardest on this assignment and their part of the assignment turns out great, then I’ll get them donuts. They agreed. Yay bribery.
Last night I was texting Mark and we realized how complicated the assignment was, so we decided that today we’d meet up during our free time to discuss the assignment and make it clear. With that, I told both Mark and Brendan that I’d bring the donuts in today for their future hard work. Which I did, and I guess they ate it some time today when I wasn’t around because I didn’t see them eat it.
During our break, we went to the cafeteria and Tina and one of her group members, Jake, came along. Also another classmate Ben, who, I guess, didn’t really have anything better to do except tag along. Tina and Jake were next to us at a long table working on their assignment, just like us three. Some what.
Not even three minutes into our discussion, the two just let the silence fall upon us before chatting with Ben while eating pizza and I sat across from them trying to straighten out our assignment. Once or twice I brought their attention back by asking for their opinion and it was clear they just weren’t interested. I should have expected that in the first place.
Eventually, I started to get teary eyed and wanted to cry from frustration. I couldn’t believe this was happening. And one time while we three were contemplating on something, Ben interrupts and asks Mark a question about his barista job and where to apply for an open spot. I got exasperated and I just dropped the assignment instructions and pencil on my notebook and leaned back in my chair with a sigh, giving Ben a look. He apologized in a low voice but Mark didn’t really catch the drift because he answered Ben very enthusiastically and they proceeded to have another conversation.
Tina was trying to help me by asking things like “So, did you guys get ____ figured out?” to Mark and Brendan. I was grateful but eventually I whispered to her that it was okay and that I appreciated it but I had given up.
A few moments later, I guess my frustration hit the bar because I felt something inside my brain snap, my hand wouldn’t stop trembling and I felt my face get red as tears started brimming my eyes. Mark and Brendan kept asking what the concept we were doing was no matter how many times one of us explained it, and I had enough of it at one point that after Brendan asked once more to clarify what the concept was, I couldn’t help myself as I dropped my pencil and rubbed my face in annoyance before responding to him.
We needed to list three “objectives” and each of us would take note of it in one episode we’d watch (don’t worry about understanding that, it’s not important). I had my objective and Brendan had his, all that was left was for Mark (or all three of us actually) to come up with his own. I guess he was getting impatient because he said that he’d think of it later. Brendan asked if that meant we were done discussing and Mark seemed more than eager to get out of the cafeteria. I think Brendan sensed that I was upset because he went over what he would be doing, I guess to make sure I knew he wasn’t taking it lightly. I don’t know, I couldn’t tell.
So with that, Mark and Brendan left, and I stood up to leave too. Jake and Kevin, other group mate who arrived, moved to a different table and Tina gathered her stuff while I wore my backpack. She asked how it went and if I was okay and I broke down.
No, I didn’t sob my eyes out. I just couldn’t hold back some tears while I told her how I didn’t see why it’s so hard to just focus for like 45 minutes or so. I told her I gave up on them. And that I spent five bucks on donuts for absolutely nothing. Nothing at all. She hugged me and patted my head (haha) and reassured me that things will be okay. She said that she’d get Kevin to talk some sense into them too, and I was kind of grateful for that. Though I wasn’t sure if I wanted those two butt heads to know. I decided to skip my last class and go home. I guess Brendan and Mark heard shortly after from Kevin that I was upset and cried because on the train home Brendan texted me. Well it was a group message between us three. He wrote “we got this (thumbs up) gonna get an A on this.” I just stared at his text for five whole minutes. My mind was actually blank and I didn’t know how to react. And I almost cried again from reading that. I decided not to respond. Half an hour later, Mark joined in on the conversation and said “Right (gleeful, smiley face).” I again didn’t know how to respond. I just let it be.
Kevin texted me too a bit later, saying not to worry and that he’d talk to Brendan and Mark. Appreciated that too. I wanted to be happy that Brendan and Mark didn’t outrightly say “sorry” or some shit and instead said something encouraging, but it was hard to be happy. All I could imagine was that behind those texts were Brendan and Mark texting me with a dead pan, serious face and probably thinking “wow, what an emotional uptight girl we’re working with.”
I mean, maybe they weren’t thinking that. But you know me, can’t help but think of the worst. Just an hour ago or so I responded saying thanks. No response. I don’t expect one either.
I knew they were slackers so I shouldn’t have expected an extremely productive discussion. But I guess I had my hopes up a little too high because last night Mark had texted me asking questions on the assignment and then said that we should have a good talk face to face today. Yeah, that’s probably it. Got my hopes up.
Well, that’s how my day went. I wasted money on donuts. I mentally felt something snap in my head. I cried. I was mopey and depressed for a while. And I don’t know what to do now.
So yeah, that’s my second dramatic catch-up story. Hope everyone has a nice day/night. I’m gonna go take a nap. Almost fell asleep halfway through this post.